Many men are still having sex in hiding and from a distance using pornography. Through prolonged use they consolidate neural pathways of disconnection with women through this fantasy culture which inflames their issues to receive love. Through the use of porn they begin to consciously see women as a purely voyeuristic, sexual object. They conceal and disguise their voyeurism as they constantly objectify every woman they see. Sizing them up, looking them up and down playing out fantasies.
The word intimacy is derived from the Latin; Intimus meaning Innermost. Men are still using porn to distract, conceal and deny ‘what is’ in their life. They blind themselves to ideas about what is happening inside with no ‘Innermost’ connection with themselves. The loving relationship with the man’s self is denied.
The Strong, Powerful, Loving Man does not use porn to distract himself from loneliness, isolation or confusion. He takes courageous steps on his journey to surrender and face what is happening inside him with a loving heart. To learn to love himself so he can truly love another with unafraid intimacy.
Please be aware, the following information is adult in nature and for educational purposes. Must be over 15 to read it….
I see the reason most women are not having sex as much as most men would like them to for the following reasons.
1. most people have a limited practice of sex. Most of the time it plays out as she gets her or not… and it always lead to intercourse where he gets his. pretty boring…
2. if sex is not emotionally or physically good, then why bother
3. if a woman feels she needs to shower, shave everything and then clean up after as well… well that can be a lot of time commitment and effort for something that may be short lived and not satisfying
4 .if she feels she must have an orgasm to make his ego feel better and she has to put effort into getting there… sometimes too much trouble to even start
5. if it is presumed that every affectionate gesture is an agenda to a goal and not just an act in itself (see all the above)
6. if he uses porn and the women he looks at do not look anything like her… well…. it may be enough that he uses porn regularly to turn her off (70 percent of divorce lawyers are citing this as a majority reason women are getting divorced)
7. Goal oriented sex feels very sad and lonely
8. if the house work and child care is only her responsibility, then she will be too tired to care about his needs
9. the last compliment you gave her was a very long time ago, and she sees you checking other women out
10, he is taking Viagra to last longer in hopes she has an orgasm through intercourse when all she wants is for him to stop pounding her for so long„„ 87 percent of women DO NOT have orgasm through intercourse alone, no matter how long you last (well unless you both have some training.)
11. women have heard that there are a whole bunch of ways they can orgasm and men who watch porn sometimes bring back performance goals for their women, who now feel inadequate
12. of course it could be as easy as she does not love you anymore… or she thinks you have gotten too fat…
most of the time women who feel loved and adored and are getting their intimacy and sexual needs met, love to have sex, even after menopause or having children.
So the solution is to get some help getting on track and here in lies the issue.
It usually takes women a long time of not getting their intimacy or sex needs before they start finding excuses to not have sex.
By this time they usually are not inclined to get help because they do not think their partner will be up for it,or he will be too embarrassed to talk to someone about it… or she is just happier without it at this point, because she doesn’t believe anything can change.
he on the other hand, typically resorts to internet porn or erotic massage or escorts to get his needs met, and he feels crappy but justified about it..
from there, it all goes to crap.
There are over 40 million sexless couples in the US. I implore you, get some help, it is not a happy way for anyone to live…